which is home to the most unserious, goofy languages on the planet,
(You can't unironically tell me that you, personally, can take English seriously. You can't.)
I mean come on, definite and indefinite articles that work the exact same way? Cases expressed on said articles, rather than on the words themselves? Using the perfect aspect for the passive voice? Making comparisons by using not just a special form of an adjective, but adding a whole, separate, specific particle for that purpose too? Preposterous.
English is a garbled mess of stolen words and cobbled together syntax, that's all well and fair, but I refuse to take shit from European languages either. German's lack of grasping the distal/proximal relationship and splitting verbs across long, wandering sentences is its own brand of derp. Language is a grubby mess of spirited belching, nobody's got an upper hand here.
everyone else: what do you call the things that fly in the sky?
The fucking French:
les o i s e a u x
everyone else: and how do you pronounce that...?
The fucking french, again: "wa•zo. putain."